What a ride.. life is.

I believe somehow if neurons are the hardware of my ethereal existence, my designer implanted a pattern module with it. Like a CPU cache it decodes the virtual address of a situation and looks for a hit. I guess today I got a cache-miss.

I've been trying to survive the conclusion that people do what do, just because they can. It's not they're error. It's mine - Because I allow it.

Life is like chess. Every time you make a move and leave a major peace unguarded, sooner or latter it will perish un-reclaimed.

Don't know if I can really explain it. It's a matter of goal, every person has a goal. It may be financial recognition, knowledge, pure procrastination... but it has a goal. And it acts towards that goal, it ponders the variables around it, and it pursues it like a hunter and like a general hunter it uses what ever weapons it's got intelligence, strength, camouflage...

The problem you see.. is to identify what kind of a hunter you got near you. Because sometimes, while you are distracted, the hunter may hunt you. It's not that it wants to harm you personally, it just happens that you are in the way of it's goal. Like in chess, not every move is a direct move. I may be just diverging...

misdirection...

I demand so much of my self... maybe sometimes I demand to much of the people around me. I expect them to be as honest, as straight forward, as clear, as humanly just as I want to be. But I forget that's part of my goal... it's mine and it's not my task to convert people to the idea that you're not supposed to give because of what you get return, and you are not supposed to expect to be given because of what you give, you're not supposed to ask for recognition! It would only work if it where the goal of both sides.

I guess business relationships are not so different from human relationships after all. Maybe it's because they are still relationships between people.

So I'm computing the variables.... like a weighted graph... Sometimes ethics gets in the way... Maybe It's time to let my self go of the weight of preaching righteousness. I'm not a saint and that's not my goal.

My goal...